A hell of a week: what to do when the going gets tough

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."

But don't you ever just want to make life take back those stupid lemons and yell, "I DON'T WANT FREAKING LEMONS." And if life won't take them back, to throw them at a wall in utter frustration.  And then have to clean them up. Goddammit. 

This week was kinda like that. But I got my own version of lemonade at the end. PASSED THE RESTRICTED. And yes, I know I'm veeeeeery late but it doesn't mean I can't enjoy the freedom and independence that comes with having my own car and actually being allowed to legally drive it!

But it wasn't all good. I failed my first go on Tuesday. 

And this whole week, I had to look after my mum. She was in pain the entire week. 2 panadeine every 4 hours for 6 days (and counting) kind of pain. So severe that she almost had to go on morphine. She was bed-ridden all day and I had to do almost everything, every day since my dad was at work. It was tough. And especially so since the doctor wasn't able to tell her what caused it. 

But from her suffering, I learnt something. She was always trying to help. A small cough or sneeze would bring tears to her eyes but still she wanted to help. And it made me realise that no matter what happens in life, giving up should not be an option. You have to keep trying. So when life happens and the going gets tough, perseverance is key. 

Something else that I learnt this week:

There is nothing like an unwell family member to remind you of the reason why you pursued this career in the first place. It was because I wanted answers, I wanted to help relieve other's suffering, and I wanted to be in a position to do something about it. I guess I lost track of the reason why I wanted to be a doctor so badly. With all the studying and theory, it just feels like school again. It doesn't feel like you're making a difference. I admit, I lost sight of the big picture, and consequently, I was letting insignificant things dictate my actions and emotions. 

It's like being in a tunnel. A closed-in, pitch black tunnel that you can't see the light at the end of. My field of vision narrowed to a pinpoint consisting of grades and deadlines. 

But despite the hurdles, I did realise something else. And that's about letting go. Ironic since I just mentioned not giving up, but learning to let go of something toxic is an important lesson. A discussion that I had with someone this week has prompted me to consider my life. Things, people and goals. And one goal that I hope to continue learning about this year is to learn to let go of things and people. It'll be tough, but I'm working on it and I hope that I become a better person because of it.

I just want to end by saying that life in itself is a lesson. I hope that you keep learning and become a happier, better and extraordinary person in the process. 

-Diana